that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
