My hand turned me down
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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