Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
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