sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Congratulations! We have a period
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