dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
