He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
