Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
so explain again why im purple
no
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
