can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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