I wish I could teleport
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
