So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
she told me i tasted like america
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
