You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
