I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
