Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
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