I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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