Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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