i used baking grease as lip gloss
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
