Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".