if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.