I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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