I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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