somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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