? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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