Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
