I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
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