Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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