The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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