so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
We had to coat check the pizza.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
