On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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