The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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