Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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