I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
23 Medical Examiners Reveal The Most Disturbing Causes Of Death They’ve Seen
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order