Texts From Last Night

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  (817): View more from Texas

  You're completely useless in the revolution.

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  (817): You're completely useless in the revolution. http://tfl.nu/br33
  Replies (7) Good night (1261) Bad night (701)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.

  (1-607): View more from New York

  I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.

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  (607): Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom. (1-607): I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts. http://tfl.nu/s0vw
  Replies (15) Good night (2486) Bad night (1337)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple

  (1-631): View more from New York

  whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?

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  (631): guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple (1-631): whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread? http://tfl.nu/vnh0
  Replies (31) Good night (4518) Bad night (1595)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.

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  (417): I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous. http://tfl.nu/gmif
  Replies (32) Good night (4212) Bad night (725)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.

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  (717): My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential. http://tfl.nu/qhq9
  Replies (23) Good night (1048) Bad night (4854)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?

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  (313): There's a paramedic out here, what have you done? http://tfl.nu/vsi3
  Replies (3) Good night (2916) Bad night (1002)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm

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  (214): she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm http://tfl.nu/qx0o
  Replies (8) Good night (3164) Bad night (1854)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.

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  (415): Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt. http://tfl.nu/r5l2
  Replies (10) Good night (2572) Bad night (1289)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.

  (845): View more from New York

  Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.

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  (845): There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help. (845): Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me. http://tfl.nu/1wp4
  Replies (5) Good night (3132) Bad night (895)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.

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  (940): I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me. http://tfl.nu/wgik
  Replies (2) Good night (1110) Bad night (558)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"

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  (919): I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle" http://tfl.nu/r7nr
  Replies (6) Good night (3932) Bad night (843)
• Favorite

  (+27): View more from South Africa

  I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.

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  (+27): I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me. http://tfl.nu/p5fs
  Replies (13) Good night (596) Bad night (1056)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt

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  (210): How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt http://tfl.nu/wi7k
  Replies (2) Good night (675) Bad night (345)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.

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  (520): No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine. http://tfl.nu/vlk1
  Replies (4) Good night (610) Bad night (186)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.

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  (269): You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone. http://tfl.nu/l2io
  Replies (0) Good night (238) Bad night (288)

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