Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.

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(313): Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone. http://tfl.nu/vfbd

Replies (40) Good night (14228) Bad night (1565)
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(805): View more from California

all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.

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(805): all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl. http://tfl.nu/c5of

Replies (14) Good night (877) Bad night (4033)
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(540): View more from Virginia

david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n

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(540): david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n http://tfl.nu/9r0h

Replies (15) Good night (3142) Bad night (775)
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(517): View more from Michigan

new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals

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(517): new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals http://tfl.nu/6pha

Replies (61) Good night (5487) Bad night (1128)
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(443): View more from Maryland

At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...

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(443): At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead... http://tfl.nu/ukld

Replies (10) Good night (758) Bad night (4340)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Some one left their pants in the elevator.

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(617): Some one left their pants in the elevator. http://tfl.nu/4aog

Replies (7) Good night (4270) Bad night (812)
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(870): View more from Arkansas

We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster

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(870): We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster http://tfl.nu/c1fy

Replies (3) Good night (767) Bad night (1722)
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(954): View more from Florida

his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.

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(954): his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here. http://tfl.nu/eop3

Replies (3) Good night (1002) Bad night (1441)
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(347): View more from New York

I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.

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(347): I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time. http://tfl.nu/7l8h

Replies (3) Good night (846) Bad night (2039)
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(+61): View more from Australia

I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast

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(+61): I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast http://tfl.nu/icj5

Replies (6) Good night (2449) Bad night (819)
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(819): View more from Quebec

there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive

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(819): there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive http://tfl.nu/f5fj

Replies (3) Good night (2632) Bad night (752)
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(50): View more from

I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.

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(50): I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious. http://tfl.nu/irod

Replies (5) Good night (2964) Bad night (749)
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(905): View more from Ontario

I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.

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(905): I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it. http://tfl.nu/6c57

Replies (2) Good night (2194) Bad night (512)
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(716): View more from New York

It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving

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(716): It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving http://tfl.nu/l18z

Replies (1) Good night (1229) Bad night (474)
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(315): View more from New York

I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.

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(315): I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse. http://tfl.nu/rzpq

Replies (6) Good night (683) Bad night (223)

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