everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me