Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"