SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts