I'm really into asian looking animals
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
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Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.