I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
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All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
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He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"