You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
