Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize