2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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