Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
My legs feel like baby dolphins
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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