sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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