Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
