I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
