we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
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But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
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I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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