i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
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He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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