after a month anything with tits is on the radar
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
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you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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