So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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