Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!

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(908): View more from New Jersey

she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.

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(586): View more from Michigan

you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(904): View more from Florida

I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.

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(207): View more from Maine

FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.

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(616): View more from Michigan

Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"

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(415): View more from California

I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard

(647): View more from Ontario

I meant his actual lizard not his manhood

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