so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.