What a fucking waste of an outfit
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof