Texts From Last Night

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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I chose taco bell over sex...

  (503): View more from Oregon

  good choice.

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  (503): I chose taco bell over sex... (503): good choice. http://tfl.nu/85cg
  Replies (16) Good night (2223) Bad night (957)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked

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  (719): so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked http://tfl.nu/uvvy
  Replies (49) Good night (1226) Bad night (5041)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.

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  (610): The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed. http://tfl.nu/1baq
  Replies (21) Good night (4220) Bad night (780)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off

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  (407): Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off http://tfl.nu/jc13
  Replies (13) Good night (868) Bad night (3772)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.

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  (801): He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up. http://tfl.nu/2vsu
  Replies (4) Good night (2888) Bad night (946)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.

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  (330): Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car. http://tfl.nu/8rap
  Replies (6) Good night (2561) Bad night (774)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up

  (1-585): View more from New York

  Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit

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  (585): Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up (1-585): Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit http://tfl.nu/gck7
  Replies (6) Good night (2380) Bad night (997)
• Favorite

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I feel like everything in this room is sweating

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  (506): I feel like everything in this room is sweating http://tfl.nu/iaml
  Replies (2) Good night (702) Bad night (1072)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...

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  (780): Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it... http://tfl.nu/howp
  Replies (10) Good night (2851) Bad night (593)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?

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  (563): I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join? http://tfl.nu/9f19
  Replies (5) Good night (531) Bad night (1142)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.

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  (215): There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions. http://tfl.nu/xynj
  Replies (1) Good night (1809) Bad night (443)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.

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  (512): I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours. http://tfl.nu/179p
  Replies (8) Good night (455) Bad night (834)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.

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  (306): Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am. http://tfl.nu/zysn
  Replies (3) Good night (634) Bad night (201)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.

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  (613): You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse. http://tfl.nu/8ufz
  Replies (4) Good night (584) Bad night (184)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.

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  (253): I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab. http://tfl.nu/54wu
  Replies (0) Good night (371) Bad night (210)

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