Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(718): View more from New York

You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.

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(718): You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants. http://tfl.nu/n5jd

Replies (11) Good night (2257) Bad night (875)
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(740): View more from Ohio

i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation

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(740): i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation http://tfl.nu/vlgs

Replies (12) Good night (1279) Bad night (2726)
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(713): View more from Texas

OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?

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(713): OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer? http://tfl.nu/g8wt

Replies (13) Good night (900) Bad night (2534)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.

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(479): I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again. http://tfl.nu/mmc2

Replies (7) Good night (2899) Bad night (728)
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(313): View more from Michigan

I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding

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(313): I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding http://tfl.nu/qljv

Replies (9) Good night (629) Bad night (2629)
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(443): View more from Maryland

My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.

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(443): My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love. http://tfl.nu/12sb

Replies (8) Good night (3720) Bad night (720)
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(315): View more from New York

you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.

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(315): you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic. http://tfl.nu/5ljo

Replies (3) Good night (1150) Bad night (507)
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(406): View more from Montana

Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.

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(406): Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip. http://tfl.nu/5qjy

Replies (6) Good night (1015) Bad night (520)
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(407): View more from Florida

OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING

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(407): OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING http://tfl.nu/avf7

Replies (4) Good night (990) Bad night (650)
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(562): View more from California

He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.

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(562): He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore. http://tfl.nu/2eq9

Replies (1) Good night (340) Bad night (704)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.

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(902): I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks. http://tfl.nu/hv7j

Replies (5) Good night (991) Bad night (429)
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(785): View more from Kansas

What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.

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(785): What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective. http://tfl.nu/kk8s

Replies (2) Good night (807) Bad night (375)
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(713): View more from Texas

My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"

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(713): My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN" http://tfl.nu/ihut

Replies (4) Good night (856) Bad night (451)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.

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(843): Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him. http://tfl.nu/vyb2

Replies (0) Good night (389) Bad night (283)
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(541): View more from Oregon

Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians

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(541): Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians http://tfl.nu/wfuy

Replies (3) Good night (214) Bad night (360)

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