the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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