So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
