like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
