In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
