She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
