i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
The air was thick with penises
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
