it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
