Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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