Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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