scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
