i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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