We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Actions speak louder than pants.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
