im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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