i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
