he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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