I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
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