just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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