What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
